


Forever is a Long Time

by Azrayah



Category: Given, Given (Manga)
Genre: Drabble, M/M, No Spoilers, Wistful, because i know nothing about yuki, because my friend said "no pressure", i wrote this super fast, mostly because i'm currently anime only, so i know nothing about them in the manga canon lol, so of course i was pressured lol, there's also a bit of projecting and headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 18:42:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20643878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azrayah/pseuds/Azrayah
Summary: Mafuyu goes to the beach to remember. He doesn't want to forget.





	Forever is a Long Time

**Author's Note:**

> This is a drabble that's un-beta'd lol

The ocean was calm in the light of dawn, a contrast to the turmoil Mafuyu felt inside his heart. There were few others around him, a stray runner on their usual path, and an older man walking his spunky dog. They both ignored him as he ignored them, each to their own and unknown to the inner thoughts, the inner demons.

He continued to walk down the shoreline, shoes in hand, as he felt the cool sand beneath his feet. The waves lapped over them and up past his ankles, a numbing cold grounding him to the present.

This beach was a comfort to him, calming the crashing waves of his broken heart. Every time a memory faded he found himself here once more, trying to grasp what he’d lost—to no avail. He knew it was inevitable. He can’t hold on to every detail, every moment. Yuki had been right.

He hated when Yuki was right.

Yuki was generally an easy-going guy. He always had been—happy-go-lucky, kind, and stood up for the right thing, even when they were children. He was laid back with friends and enemies alike, always trying to find a compromise to avoid fights with those around him. Everyone seemed to gravitate around him, like a star pulling in planets. The few times he asserted something, it was with a seemingly knowing smile.

That smile was one of the things Mafuyu didn’t like about Yuki.

It was a fake smile and they both knew it, and yet Yuki refused to show his true emotions. In those moments of uncertainty, he would just smile knowingly, assert something that Mafuyu didn’t want to believe, then move on to something to distract him before he could fully process what Yuki said.

It hurt, to not be trusted with Yuki’s emotions. Mafuyu loved him with every fiber of his being, always had in some capacity, and he couldn’t understand why Yuki felt the need to hide his emotions. Mafuyu knew how hard it was to express them—Yuki knew he struggled with them and was patient with him—and so he didn’t understand why Yuki couldn’t share them with him. They were partners, with each other through the good and the bad. Why was that so hard for Yuki to understand?

The waves tickled his mid-calf, skirting below the rolled cuff of his pants. He stepped away from the ocean and moved closer to the steps away from the beach, feeling the dry sand stick to his wet feet. He forgot a towel again.

“Here.”

Mafuyu looked up and met Yuki’s gaze, tracing down to see the small towel he was offering. He took it, their fingers brushing as they always did when they handed things to one another, and leaned against the wall behind them.

“Thanks.” He began to brush off his feet.

Yuki chuckled, reaching out and ruffling Mafuyu’s hair. “Of course, Fu-chan.” He settled his hand to the nape of his neck, tickling his hair at the bottom as he drew patterns into his neck. Mafuyu needed a haircut. “Your mom was worried this morning. Said you had weird look on your face when you left.”

Mafuyu sighed. “When do I not have a weird look on my face?” He slipped his shoes on as Yuki trailed his hand down from his neck to his hand, lightly grasping it. Mafuyu looked into his worried eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Yuki asked gently, his thumb now tracing patterns on the back of his hand. Mafuyu wondered what the pattern was.

“Just thinking.”

Yuki smiled that painful knowing smile. Mafuyu wanted to kiss it away, like Yuki would kiss away his worry, his pain. Was Mafuyu good enough to do that?

“Okay.”

Yuki pulled away slightly as Mafuyu closed his eyes, taking a moment to push away the selfish thoughts. He gripped Yuki’s hand tighter for a split second before a loosened it into the light hold they typically kept. They made their way up the stairs and towards the train station, their hands out in the open in the empty streets of the early morning. As they got closer to the station, their grip loosened until they let go, keeping themselves away from prying eyes, as if they were a secret.

The train was empty when they boarded, allowing them to sit close to one another. Yuki’s arm was over Mafuyu’s shoulder as he leaned into Yuki, taking comfort in his sturdy warmth. He was tapping his foot and humming that same tune he swears Mafuyu started as he gazed at the passing scenery, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Mafuyu closed his eyes and allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by Yuki’s comfort.

Even if he couldn’t remember every single detail of Yuki and him at the beach, couldn’t remember every single detail of this moment, he would never forget this feeling, this love. Mafuyu knew these moments were so precious, and he was sure that they would be held close to his heart.

Forever and always.

* * *

_He watched Mafuyu walk down the beach, his hair tussled by the crisp ocean breeze. The early golden rays of sunlight made a halo-effect on his hair, as if he were a wondering angel, as lost as his thoughts seemed to be. _

_How sweet his winter angel was, to come in an attempt to remember their first moment here. It was futile, and they both knew it. He hated that he was comforted by the idea that Mafuyu cared this much about their memories. Mafuyu had faced too much—they both had—and yet he was still so pure of thought._

_ He smiled wistfully as he tilted his head back, gazing at the clouds as they meandered through the morning sky. He wished Mafuyu could be as free as those floating clouds._

_ He wished he could stop being the chain to pull his ray of sunshine down to the darkness. But he was selfish and insecure, and so as long as Mafuyu would have him, he was his. _

_Forever and always._

**Author's Note:**

> This was a very fast drabble that I wrote in like an hour and a half. This is my first time posting in a long time, and it's with a character i'm not very familiar with, so idk how it is, so critique is good! i'm currently not a manga reader (but i will be once the anime is over) so i'm sorry if this conflicts with anything in manga canon.
> 
> thanks for reading! and i hope you liked it babe <3


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